Your presence still lingers here, and it won't leave me alone

I just thought I would post about the past two days because there's nothing else to do.

Yesterday

The day before, Dad and I had had a huge fight and so he wasn't speaking to me. I caught the bus to school which was sorta good because I didn't have to leave as early. I walked to the library and everyone was already there, got an invitation to a pre-semi thing at Liz and Grace's and then we all walked to Form.
First up was Physics, we were in some weird room in a shed for some reason with laptops that didn't work. Danielle wasn't there so Lewis spent all his time trying to talk to me; it was morning and I was kind of upset about the day before so I didn't feel like talking, so he kept saying "you're depressing me!" and poking me and trying to get me to talk. I felt like punching him in the face, like seriously if I didn't want to talk to him initially then being poked is only going to worsen the situation. Tarryd and Adam were talking to me and that was good cause they're both nice and slightly strange so they're never boring. Tarryd ended up drawing Satanic marks on my hands and then we were drawing all over Lewis and spinning coins. Kind of weird but it cheered me up a bit.
Maths was alright, for the first half we had a sub but she didn't let us talk -_- I tried to do the work but I couldn't figure it out.
Morning Tea was actually quite hilarious because we were sitting at a spot close to Yr 8's for some reason and the Yr 8's were standing around rather than sitting. Megan started singing some rap song that no one knew and then this Yr 8 girl who couldn't even hear her started dancing (hilariously) to the same rhythm without knowing we could see her. It made me laugh so much that I had tears in my eyes. Then Megan walked up to her and started dancing with her and the girl looked so scared. I don't think I've laughed that hard in months.
2nd half of Maths our teacher was back and yeah that was boring.
In Biology we just wrote notes so blegh.
Lunch was alright.
Then in Chemistry we got our drafts back and I had tried to use smart words, the teacher had commented on them by drawing arrows and writing "Are these YOUR words? Really?!" which annoyed me because I don't need to use someone else's work to write intelligently.
Home was pretty disastrous. Dad burst into my room and told me I had a problem, he said he's cancelled all my counselling sessions and that I can no longer go overseas next year. He said I can never go driving again and that he forbids me to go out on weekends anymore. I don't even know what I did. He said to me when he was leaving, "All you do is fucking take from others, you never take into consideration how anyone else feels or whether anyone has something better to do than listen to your shit, you're worthless, no one will ever love you because you love no one but yourself."
Mum is never home because she's working late shifts which are like 2pm - 11pm so I never see her, she's also never around to stop Dad from doing horrible things. I stayed in my room that night and just cried, I felt stuck in a house full of people that hate me. Whenever I tried to ask Indi or Dad a question they wouldn't answer. When I walked into a room they'd get up and leave. Dad told me he's thinking about throwing me out on the street.
I went on MSN that night to see if anyone nice was online and there were a couple but they all signed out when I signed in so I just lay in bed and watched tv quietly.

Today
When I got to school I couldn't stop crying. It probably sounds pathetic but everything was just breaking down and I felt like I couldn't do anything. Moni gave me a hug and Dani kept writing me notes saying she loved me, it was really nice of them but it didn't make me feel much better.
In Maths I just cried and stared into space; the teacher asked me a question because she could tell I wasn't paying attention and surprisingly I knew the answer.
In Biology Shanice sat in my usual spot because there's too many people in our 'group' in that class, 9 people and there's 8 seats in the row so someone always has to sit by themselves. I didn't mind though. We watched a video so the lights were out which was nice.
At Morning Tea Liz walked up and tried to throw her gum in the bin but it got in my hair, it kind of sucked. She felt really bad and I told her it was fine because it really was the least of my worries at that point. I'm seeing a hairdresser soon anyway so I didn't mind cutting some of my hair today.
Assembly was boring and in LED we just looked at pictures on Google.
Lunch was nice, I fell asleep with my head resting on Dani and Yibing was playing with my hair. Cinda tied my shoelaces together and then Grace and Yibing were tickling me.
In QCS Cinda and I just talked about people and were punching each other in the arm, my right arm is basically dead now. Lol

I'm home now (obviously) and Dad isn't but I think he'll be home in the next half hour, I'm dreading it. Indi isn't speaking to me. I don't know what I've done to her but lately she's been telling me she hates me and hopes I die. Can't say it doesn't hurt my feelings to hear her say that but oh well.

Without counselling I'm not sure how things are going to go, the family's falling apart again and now we don't have someone to stitch it back together. But I guess we'll see how things go... hopefully he'll stop with the physical violence at least, I can deal with the words if it comes down to it.