I honestly don't know why I'm writing in this, because up until this very current point in time I told myself I wouldn't. But I doubt anyone reads this anymore so it's not like it'll make a difference if I do or don't post. I just need to write about some stuff in an impartial place.

I am currently in a bad place and to be honest I don't have any idea why. I was stressed over my job and school and parents and such, but I've quit my job, caught up on schoolwork and made peace with the fact that my parents will be forcing me out soon. I'm still stressed. Over what? I don't have a fucking clue. I have this hollow feeling in my stomach that just makes me want to cry; I feel like all my hope is fading and that nothing good could ever possibly happen. I don't know why. Nothing particularly horrible has happened. It's all pretty normal. But I feel like I'm falling apart and the thing is, I know that it's stupid. I know there's no reason for me to be feeling like that. It's pathetic and depressing and isn't helping anyone. But I still feel this way. I feel like I've lost someone important or my life has undergone some drastic change, but it hasn't. People go through so much fucking worse than I do. 1000000000000x worse. So I'm just confused, I don't know why I'm so upset or why I have this feeling of dread constantly.
I just want to spend 24 hours of my day talking on the phone to friends or seeing them in person or texting or getting hugs or anything. It probably sounds pathetic and needy but that's just all I want to do. Unfortunately most people are either too busy or out of contact a lot of the time so I really only spend about a few hours of my day doing that. There are a couple of people who are there for me and I appreciate it more than anything else, but I can't pester them 24/7 for someone to talk to; it's too much to ask. When I'm talking to people I feel almost 100% better, but then when the conversation ends I'm just back at square one, like I never even talked to anyone. I just need to stay in constant contact but like I said I wouldn't ask anyone to put up with me for that long, and besides, like I said, most people have more important things to do the majority of the time (that wasn't sarcasm), or I can't contact them or we just aren't that close anymore.
So most of my time I feel lonely even if I've just talked to someone. Or I feel like I'm empty and hopeless and falling apart. For no reason. It's so stupid.
I do get texts and such every few days which is great but people never call me, because before this I really hated calls. I'd ask some people if we could talk more often but I know how pathetic that would sound.
I feel really weak and useless for feeling like this when nothing has happened.
And I feel like a horrible friend for constantly complaining when everyone else is probably thinking "omg stfu" for being all depressing and selfish and whatever.
It's just frustrating because there's no reason for me to be feeling like this.
I mean yes, my parents and I had several huge fights this week and I packed my stuff and tried to leave and spent several hours at a bus stop crying my eyes out, but I'm home right now and although everyone in the house can tell there's about to be another big fight, I don't really care. I don't care that I don't really have anywhere to go. Ellie isn't really talking to me right now for god-knows-what reason, but again, she'll get over it and it'll be alright, so I'm not worried about that. I don't care that I won't be able to stay with her. I don't care. I don't have any money because I no longer have a job, so I can't go anywhere, I won't be able to buy any food or transport or access to shelter, but I honestly don't fucking care.
So I am so incredibly confused as to why I feel like the world is ending.