My whole family life is changing. I moved out for a while, and I've been back for a few days and have already been in several major fights. My mum now knows that I get depressed, that I used to cut myself and that I don't eat. She's been lecturing me and talking to me like I don't understand that what I do is hurting me. Obviously I know that. She was talking to me about eating disorders like I was a child who thought it was normal not to eat for five days. I know it's hurting me and that's the point.
The worst thing is, she doesn't understand. She just yells and gets angry and doesn't care. She yells because it's inconvenient and embarrassing for her to have a fucked up child. That's why she was so angry when I moved out-- because she was mortified that everyone would know she isn't perfect.
She's told me maybe it's better if they sent me away.
I'm starting to wonder if maybe it would be.