I got home from last night's party this morning and everything went downhill after that.
Firstly Mum was beyond pissed at me because she hates me even asking her for small favours, god forbid. When was it that asking for $5 or to be driven to a friend's house became as bad as asking her to fucking cut off her own arm.
Then during the day everyone was asleep so it was okay, I just watched tv.
When Mum and Dad woke up this evening Mum was angry at me as mentioned but luckily she went out to drink with friends or whatever.
Dad stayed home.
I needed to talk to Lewis because I'm going to his place tomorrow and sort out times so I asked Indi if I could use the computer because I couldn't text him. She was using the computer so I said she could use it for as long as she wants but could she please give me a time frame so I know when she'll be done using it. She said no and I asked why. She said she didn't know but that I should go away. I asked her politely again, she said no again. I asked her politely once more and she started yelling at me to leave her alone. I told her I needed the computer and that she was only stuffing around on it anyway, she was just making a fake Powerpoint presentation for no reason, and she can do whatever she likes but I needed to talk to Lewis before he went offline.
Dad walked in and told me to 'leave her alone' and I said I wasn't doing anything. Indi then concocted this story that I'd been shouting at her and shit and then Dad got pissed at me and told me the whole world doesn't revolve around me and that I should learn to share things. I told him to learn to listen to both sides before he sides with the child he loves most and to leave me alone because he's so prejudiced when it comes to me and my sister that he's useless in solving issues except when Indi wants to get her way. He told me to go to my room because no one wants me around and I said that I didn't care what anyone wanted because it's not like they care what I want. He then said I was a bitch and that I should learn to control my attitude and that Indi could now use the computer for as long as she wanted. I told him that wasn't fair because I needed it. He said I didn't need it. I told him Indi didn't well need it because she was inventing fake presentations and he just shrugged. I said that it's unfair because I told Indi she could have as long as she wanted but that I just wanted a time frame, he said in two hours I could have the computer. I told him that was too late and he then said three hours. I protested more and he changed it to four hours, then started mocking me which pissed me off the most. He started repeating everything I said in the meanest voice and putting on the most antagonistic face and then saying things pretending to be me. I told him to stop and he got louder and shriller. I said stop it again and he started screaming whilst still mocking me. I called him a bastard and then he started yelling, calling me more names and saying that fine, from now on I can do everything by myself and that he never has to do any favours for me anymore because I'm a bitch that doesn't deserve anything. I said fine. He laughed at me and said I'd die before I did anything to help another person or even myself because according to him I think the world revolves around me and that everyone should do everything for me. He said he doesn't know how I got to be so horrible and doesn't understand how people can stand to be around me. I told him that he doesn't know what's going on with me and how I'm feeling and why I'm angry at him because he doesn't ask nor care. He said he didn't ask because I'm always angry. I said yes, for a reason, and he told me to grow up. He then started mocking me again and I said he was a bastard and acting like the child in this. Then he walked outside and I burst into tears. I could hear him outside still speaking in the mocking voice acting like the version of me he thinks I am, so loudly that the neighbours could hear. In anger I threw a book across the room and pushed a bunch of things off a table. He ran inside but was still speaking in the fake-me voice and then started saying worse things about my friends and how they don't care about me and secretly hate me and that everyone I love will eventually come to despise me, I threw a glass at a wall because in my life I've never been so angry as then, and then he chased me. I ran to my room and slammed the door and was in full-on tears and he stood outside my door pretending to be me and fake-crying and yelling in a shrill voice and carrying on for ages, finally I had enough and screamed at him to fuck off, and he walked away whilst yelling that no one loves me and that I should stay in my room forever, and that this was only the beginning and that he's going to make my life a living hell.
I then grabbed scissors and my knife and used the scissors to sharpen my knife, it worked. Maybe too well because I'm bleeding a lot, it's really dark blood as well and just won't stop. I'm scared to go out and wash my arm because I know he's just going to be there ready to start yelling and taunting me again.
I've been looking up hotel prices for an hour but the most I could afford, in the cheapest of places, is three nights and it's not worth it to go away for that long and then have to come back. Things will just be worse by then.
I don't know what to do, I wish there was someone online to talk to but it doesn't matter, hopefully my friends are out having a better night than I am.