Yes, I'm a natural blue

I started writing this on Thursday but didn't get around to finishing it.
So here's basically the past week.

Monday

Did absolutely nothing.

Tuesday

I had to wake up pretty early because Lewis was getting to my place at 11 and I had to clean. For my house that's a pretty incredible task but I managed to clean the entire house in less than 3 hours.

When he got here it was so absolutely boring. I suggested watching Scrubs and he said it was stupid. I suggested Friends and he said it's stupider than Scrubs. I called him stupid so he picked what we watched, we ended up watching the Spongebob Squarepants movie. As much as I'm entertained by Spongebob, I can't say the movie particularly interests me.
Then afterwards I was checking my phone and he took it and started reading my messages, I asked for it back and he held it out of my reach so I was like -.- fine whatever.
I went on the computer and started watching funny bits of Scrubs, he took the computer and started reading webcomics. Then he was renaming all my folders and I was like umm hey, can you not?
I started falling asleep at one point and then he was poking me, I got up to get a drink and he snuck up behind me and hugged me. When I sat back down and picked up the remote he practically jumped on me and tried to grab the remote out of my hands.
My dad got home at one point and when Lewis saw the door opening he moved closer to me, like basically sitting not a centimetre away from me, so when Dad saw us he looked away from me awkwardly and didn't speak to me for the rest of the day.
After a little while when Dad had left he suggested we go to my room (bleargh), I ignored him. He kept suggesting it so after a while I just told him to go home.
At the door he turned to me and went "are you sure?" and I closed it in his face. Kind of rude but honestly he basically wasted my whole day.

I then slept on the couch for the rest of the afternoon with my phone on loud in case Christine texted me about visiting her but I ended up sleeping til 9 and apparently she did too. Lol.

Wednesday

Woke up early because I was sleeping on the couch and Dad and Indi were up getting ready for work/school. I went out at about 11 to Indro for lunch and to buy stuff; I ended up not having lunch and buying just Poptarts for Chrissie, which were a lot less exciting than what I'd been looking to buy, but oh well. Christmas is soon anyway.
I then caught a bus to Roma St and walked up to the hospital to visit Christine.

At first I only half-recognised her because apparently she's hiding from the CIA so she dyed her hair :) Actually I made the first part up, but that'd be kinda cool. But yeah I wasn't sure at first but since she knew my name I decided to trust her, lol.
It was incredibly good to see her since it'd been March when we'd last seen each other.
Then basically for the afternoon and part of the night we talked/watched Fox 8 and she slept a bit so I was watching the weird American teenagers on Fox 8 in between daydreams of wondering why penguins can't fly. I like to think I make the most of my daydreams.

Also found it kind of suspicious that a guy visiting the person in the next bed (I think) said something about forgetting the sweet potatoes. I'm not sure why you'd need sweet potatoes in a hospital.

Anyway my dad eventually found his way to the hospital so I went home at almost 8...I think.

I was incredibly tired for some reason by the time I got home so I just fell asleep on the couch again. When my mum got home at around midnight she was eating celery or something and chewing reaaaaally loudly, I woke up and stared at her and she went, "Why don't you sleep in your room?" and I replied, "Because I'm asleep here." She laughed at me and then kept chewing and I was like gahhhhhhhhhhh. Pretty interesting stuff.

Thursday

Woke up around 8 and Dad sort of stumbled out of his room just before 9 and ran to his study. About 10 minutes later Indi woke up and asked him why he wouldn't take her to school if he wasn't working. He responded, "I've been working since 7:30!" which I laughed at; what a thing to lie about.

I did basically nothing til about midday, then at quarter past 12 or something Dad was leaving to go to the city so I asked to be dropped off at the hotel Christine was staying at. Surprisingly he said yes but then mentioned something about having meetings all day and he'd only be able to pick me up at 7.

Chrissie and I watched Finding Nemo :) and Scrubs season 8 :)
I don't think I was particularly good company though cause I was either sort of laughing at something or coughing, or trying not to cough, it was really annoying me.
I hate this cough thing. It's not going away, and it sounds scary when I cough. To me, anyway. Lol.
Anyway apart from the coughing it was good :), except I got ambushed by a sneaky camera in Christine's laptop.

Dad had texted me at like 4 saying he could pick me up then, but I didn't get it because my phone was being mean (and I also hadn't checked it, but hey >.>), so I texted him asking when would be okay and he told me to catch a bus home because he didn't want to drive back to the city just to pick me up. But oh well.

I got lost on the way back to Roma St, and in the station like 4 times. I started trying to find different ways around because I didn't want the security guards to think I was stupid/setting up bombs. Probably more stupid though.
Anyway I got the bus home.

When I got home Dad started going off at me for no reason, just saying I was stupid and the most horrible person he'd ever met and then Indi was like "I hate you, I wish I didn't have to live with you." I don't even know why they were angry at me.

Friday

I woke up at 5am feeling really sore (which really was my fault from sleeping on the couch) and couldn't go back to sleep so I basically did nothing for the morning.
Dad was saying stupid things like, "if you're going out why don't you just stay out" and "you're catching the bus to Roma St, why don't you get a train from there to somewhere far away?"

Anyway simply put it was good to get away from the house.

I visited Chrissie again, felt kind of guilty because she had to get up to open the door for me. Anyway we talked for a bit and then watched Saw VI :) :) :) It was good, but the puppet thing still scares me. -shudder-
Then watched The Hangover which was pretty funny, and random.
Then watched Scrubs again, Season 7 :D Hooch is crazy!
So yeah it was pretty great, also Christine managed to post a Facebook status that made Lewis and Jacinda think I was moving to Bundaberg, so I was talking to them a bit and pretending it could possibly be happening.
It sucked to leave because I wouldn't get to see her the next day :\

Saturday

Woke up on the couch (again) to Indi running around yelling at 7am.
Felt incredibly lonely and basically slept all day and avoided Dad.

Sunday

Was a crap day.
I slept in my room the night before so my neck was a bit better, but when I walked outside Dad sighed and was like "I was hoping you had moved out" and I was like wtf?
He then walked out for a minute and my sister walked in, told me she hated me and then burst into "tears", Dad walked in and yelled at me for being a horrible person and said maybe I should just live in my room cause they're all happier when I'm not around.
I stayed in my room and slept and just tried not to think about things.
That's about it.
Dad also discovered that when he grabs me by the neck it amuses him and I find it difficult to breathe.

Monday

Decided to start being productive.

Had to stay in my room for the first half of the day because there was a guy appraising the house and Dad said he's embarrassed by me.

When Dad left at 1 to go to Indi's graduation I walked into the kitchen, got one of our glasses that's part of a set so no one would notice it missing, then dropped it in the bathtub and picked up all the sizeable pieces. I washed all the crystals down the drain, simple and neat.
I got some paper towel, ran it under the tap then grabbed the sharpest piece of glass and just started cutting my arm up. It's a lot more effective than my knife. There was a lot of blood. I had to use a couple of pieces of paper towel and then threw the old pieces in the outside bin so no one would see them.

--If I thought people consistently read this blog then I wouldn't write this stuff in quite so much detail, but I don't think anyone does.

When Dad got home I stopped cutting for a while, he and Indi alternated between telling me they hated me/what was wrong with me; I think I'm learning to tune them out.

After a while I went into my room and cut up the rest of my arm so that there wasn't any untouched skin. I'd do my left arm as well but my right hand is clumsier and I'm a bit wary of it accidentally slipping and cutting too deep.
I think I'll start on my legs tomorrow.

So that was my day.

I'm really ashamed of myself, as a person. When I was little Pa used to tell me I'd be a good adult, that I'd accomplish something, and even though I didn't believe him it was still nice to know that someone believed in me.
Now I just pretty much fail everybody.