I don't think the antidepressants are working anymore.
I feel like the worst person in the world, constantly hate myself and tell myself everyone's better off without me.
I feel lonely all the time these days.
I want to be happy so they don't have to put up with my complaints.
That's the only reason I can think to pretend to be happy.

I feel paranoid, that if I don't hear from any person for even one day,
it means they don't want me in their life anymore.
Literally anyone.
It's messed up.

I only tell one person how I feel.
It makes me wonder why she listens.
She's too nice to me.

I just want a hug and to hear someone say they love me.
Not while they're saying goodbye but just...hearing it or reading it even.
Or even just a good morning or someone starting a conversation.

It's more than I deserve. I guess being self-centred makes me even worse.