Monday, June 8, 2009

Fairly selfish rant type thing.

Okay, I'm assuming Sunday as the first day of the week; makes more sense to me, plus more of you agreed with that than Monday.

So I'm currently incredibly stressed and worried right now. Stressed due to school assignments that are due tomorrow and haven't been started (so yes, I deserve that), and worried, cause... I don't fully know. I worry about lots of things. Half the time I worry about how my friends are even when I've just spoken to them. -.-
So I'm worrying about some people right now and I'm also worrying about the trip overseas.

I am looking forward to it and I'm grateful for it, but, ugh. It's insanely selfish but one of my most deep-seated fears is being forgotten, and I know that might sound stupid but in my head it seems rational. Honestly I'm worried that if I go away for almost a whole month, a few of my friends will either forget me or decide that I'm not as important as they'd first assumed I was. E.g., if they can go without talking to me for four weeks, surely they don't need to talk to me everyday.
That freaks me the hell out. It probably sounds selfish and idiotic but it seriously does. It freaks me out to think that things will be different when I get back, because in all fairness, a month is a fairly long time.
I know it sounds like I don't think much of some of my friends to think that in a month they could forget me, but in all honesty I don't expect them to remember me now, let alone when I'm half a world away and not in contact. That's not because of them, it's because I really don't consider myself someone who should be remembered in the first place.

So yes, I'm worried to the point where I feel sick.
It might sound like overreacting to you guys. Whatever.
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2 comments:

Marri said...

first of all, you're not overreacting. i'd be worried too.

but you are someone who should be remembered. you're amazing, clever, and ultra funny. i always smile so hugely when im talking to you, usually, unless it's a serious conversation, and even those i love having with you.

if they forget you, it's their loss. not yours. and that's the truth.

also, i'd like to know if...maybe, you're coming to a state close enough to mine, we could plan a meeting. just a thought.

xxxxxxloveyou.

June 8, 2009 at 12:09 PM
mia said...

you know what? i feel the exact same way.
i'm going overseas in ten days, and my vacation won't end for two and a half months.
i won't see any of my friends for that long, and my biggest fear is that they forget me. and i don't like to think about how things are going to be when i come back. because if they leave me or decide they don't want me anymore, i won't have anyone left. (besides blogger fam, ofcourse.)

i don't really know what advice to give you, since i'm in the same situation.. but i guess all we can do is try not to think about it too much. :|

but i agree with mari. it would be their loss if they forgot you.

<3

June 9, 2009 at 1:38 AM

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