dad came home yesterday while mum was asleep.
he woke her up and she told him to leave, he refused.
mum was too tired to throw him out and i wasn't there.
he won't leave, he says he's going to smash my face in if i ask.
i start crying every few hours.
i'm miserable here, i'm scared.
i can feel the darkness coming back and i know what it can do.
it's making me distance myself again from fear of screwing everything up.

i just need to shut up and leave everyone alone for once...