This will be a pretty short post. For two reasons--
1. I woke up at 3pm today, lol.
2. I have one comment to answer.
and 3. I can't be bothered writing too much.
So if you haven't already commented the post before this one, comment it instead of this stupid post.
So.
I woke up to my sister screaming something at me. It was something like, "BLAHBLAHBLAHDONUTS!"
So... heh, I was polite and got up. And ate the donut. And then came on here. And one of my friends (who lives in America, btw) was talking to me on msn and she had had a really bad day and was talking all suicidally. ;[
And then I read PF's thingy. Ahaha. xD
And then... I ate a croissant. *looks around shiftily* Shush. It's Saturday. xD
And then? I had to babysit the bird. By the way... you know that thing on Sunday that I told you about where he hurt himself? We think he might have broken his toe. O_O
I feel slightly... (okay, REALLY) guilty.
Anywho, that's all I hafta say.
Comments, lalalala! Whoops. Comment* Hah. xD
Heh, Cousin It. Yep, I like that codeword. It suits her. xP
I know, it's pretty bad, eh? xD
Hey, Barney is awesome. Actually, I liked him and then hated him, but now I sorta like him again. :D Not that I watch it.. but y'know. The fish alive song is my favoUrite at the moment.
Clifford's the big red dog, right? xD I love him.
Spiderman? Yaaay! :P
Ahaha. That scared me. xD No I do not. But I'd like a cookie. :D
Well, hm. She sorta affects me, cause her and Simone are the people I talk to in most of my classes, so if she's being a bitch, I'm sorta lonely. Oh well. I can live with lonely.
Hehehe! I felt slightly weird for staring at him. Oh well. I got over it. xD Pen fights are fun. But yeah... they sorta hurt. Cause it's like, *STAB!* :D
Yeah, I know. She just HAD to make me even more uncomfortable, LOL. Not that she knew that I like him, but still!
Aha! Yeah, the bus driver just started randomly screaming, I'm just thinking, "ARGH, WTF!?"
Well, here's the thing. If I dare say it, May is oh-so-slightly slutty. So, no, she hates Josh, but she still flirts with him. Urgh. It pisses me off.
You like the saxophone? Really? I thought I did, too. But Indi learning it has made me despise it. And how she plays it, it sounds anything BUT smooth. It's squeaky and loud. :Z
Electric guitar is awesome, though. :P
Aw, poor dog. That's sorta like the bird thing, sorta. :O
Yep, I actually was talking about two things. When I said I found what you said to your mum funny, I was talking about the repetitive "Mum, mummy," etc stuff. And then I changed the conversation to what your mum said. xD
A mob on your comment page... interesting... :O
Well, that's it, guys. I'm done for the day. :P
Peace!!!
~Sammy
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BEWARE OF THE KAMIKAZE BUTTERDRAGONSPIDERFLIES :D
Other places.
Following... people?
Hehehe!
Janitor: You seem unhappy. I like that.
Dr Cox: Oh, my God; I care so little, I almost passed out.
Dr Kelso: Ahh! I want you to kill the giant bat that's been living in my attic!
Turk: You keep Enid in the attic?
Janitor: Okay, hotshot, what would you use to get a coffee stain up off a tile floor?
JD: I don't know... the rough side of a sponge? [silence]
Janitor: Dammit.
Dr Cox: Let me introduce you to, A Man Who Doesn't Care.
JD: [thinking] Maybe I was being unfair to Turk. Maybe it's too much to expect a friend to just sense that you're upset and wanna talk about it...
Elliot: [when JD walks by Elliot and Carla] Carla, I can sense you're upset, talk to me!
JD: [looks confused, then continues walking and thinks] OK, but Turk is a prideful guy and it's hard for prideful guys to admit when they've been insensitive…
Dr Cox: [when JD walks by Dr. Cox and Jordan] Listen, Jordan, I've been incredibly insensitive...
JD: [looking back to the hallway, thinking] Touché, magic hallway!
JD: A drunk clown hurt me once.
JD: Why don't I ever listen to me?
Ted: And you know what else? I quit!
Dr Kelso: No you don't!
Ted: Well, I'm leaving early today!
Dr Kelso: No, you're not! You're coming back to my office to do busy work!
Ted: Fine, but I'm getting a soda first!
Dr Kelso: Whatever.
Turk: Laverne, I wrote the guest list for this conversation, and just in case, if you're wondering, you're not on it!
Carla: Please! What about all the women you've slept with? Your ex-wife, that med student, your ex-wife, the cute nurse from radiology, your ex-wife...
Dr Cox: Would you please get off my ex-wife?
Carla: I will if you will.
[Cox breaks down laughing]
Dr Cox: Well... dammit! Gosh, now I'm too proud of you to be mad at you.
Elliot: [In french] Do you speak french?
Turk: You know, I did learn a little when my high school class went to France, but that was just stuff to pick up chicks.
Elliot: [French] I really think it would make Tyler feel better if he could watch, ok?
[Turk is lost]
Turk: [Bad French] I have... an... Eiffel Tower... in my pants.
Elliot: What?
Turk: [Bad French] Grapefruit!
Dr Cox: They hate you, Bob. They hate from the bottom of your hooves to the top of your pitchfork. They hate you. By God, they hate you good.
Dr Kelso: [threateningly, to Nurse Roberts, who is chuckling] What’s so funny?
Nurse Roberts: Oh, just the hooves and pitchfork part.
[much more threateningly]
Nurse Roberts: Why?
Dr Kelso: [Frightened] Uh, no reason.
[Elliot keeps talking at a patient with a wired jaw]
Nurse: Did somebody here buzz for a nurse?
Elliot: No.
Nurse: [Looking at the patient] It looks like his eyes are screaming...
Dr Cox: Yo, girl's name!
JD: What?
Dr Cox: Gimme a break, Ellen, I got a lot on my mind, and look at that, I bounced back.
Dr Kelso: [on phone in his office] Yes, Enid, I hear Baxter growling, but the fact is, you ventured into his side of the house!
[listens, smiling]
Dr Kelso: Baring his teeth, huh?... OK, now here's whatcha do... Are you ready?
[pauses, smiling]
Dr Kelso: Make a sudden move!
[barks, growls and screams are heard from the phone. Kelso hangs up, chuckling]
Dr Kelso: Ahh, those two.
[JD asks Dr Kelso to tell him a story of when he was an intern]
Dr Kelso: Oh, what the hell. Back in '68… I don't like you. The end.
Cox’s Shrink: You mean to tell me that you actually took the advice of another human being? This is a big moment for me.
Dr Cox: Yuh-huh.
Cox’s Shrink: Well, by God, Perry, if there is a person in that hell-hole of a hospital that can give you advice, keep that person around you for as long as possible. Because, that person is nothing short… of a genius.
[Cut to J.D in an elevator, singing and dancing]
JD: Everybody was Kung-Fu fighting!
[pause]
JD: Those kicks were fast as lightning!
Carla: Well?
Dr Cox: I'm sorry, would you please repeat the question?
Carla: Are you just gonna roll over like that?
Jordan: That's weird, I asked him the same thing last night.
Carla: Where's the outrage? The anger? The hate?
Jordan: Again, last night!
Carla: You've gone soft.
Jordan: [Gasps] Okay, now it's getting spooky.
Elliot: Frick on a stick with a brick!
Dr Cox: Shower shorts, newbie?
JD: For the man who has nothing to hide… but still wants to.
Paul: Sometimes it feels like you're holding back.
Elliot: Of course I'm holding back, I'm insane, you idiot. Remember the other day when you told me I had pit-stains? Well I have cried every fifteen minutes on the half-hour since you told me that. I am racked with self-doubt, I have panic attacks, I'm claustrophobic, germ-phobic, phobia-phobic. I talk to myself, I talk to my cats, I talk to three separate shrinks about the fact that often my cats respond to me in my mother's voice and, yesterday, when that stupid, pretty surgical nurse handed you a pair of latex gloves I almost killed the guy who's leg I was stitching up because I couldn't stop thinking about the two of you having sex on a box of steaks. Why a box of steaks? 'Cos my Dad had an affair with a female butcher and, as I mentioned before, I am insane. There, I opened up, are you happy?
[to toddler Jack, at his parent's wedding-like divorce ceremony] Carla: You have no chance of being normal.
JD: [thinking] Just tell him how you feel without sounding like a girl for once.
[to Turk] JD: I miss you so much it hurts sometimes.
[J.D. faces a burnt-faced Dr. Kelso, who has just had hot coffee splashed on his face]
JD: [Thinking] Oh my God, do not say splotchy.
JD: Good splotchy, Dr Splotchy.
JD:[to himself, as Dr. Cox stands next to him at a urinal] Okay, just act natural. (out loud) Hey, Dr. Cox. Takin' a whiz?
JD: You're an actor.
Janitor: You're a fireman... What are we doing?
Dr Cox: No matter where you go in life, always keep an eye out for Johnny, the tackling Alzheimer's patient.
JD: What's that supposed to mean?!
Patient: [Tackling J.D. from out of nowhere, shouting] Who am I?
[Turk shows his new interns the patient list]
Turk: This guy needs brain work, this guy needs a heart...
JD: This one needs courage.
Turk: Helping or hurting, JD? Helping or hurting?
Janitor: I liked the way blond-hair-doctor looked. She brightened my day. But you don't care about that, do you? No... because you're unconscious.
Ted: [shouting on the phone] You want to quit? Then quit! But you, sir, are a worthless peon and you will *always* be a worthless peon!
[hangs up]
Ted: Sir, you know my band, The Worthless Peons? Well, Chris from Shipping & Receiving wants to go solo! If we lose him, we'll lose our sex appeal. He's the only one with hair! What do you think I should do?
Dr Kelso: Ted, you know my rule about personal problems - I'm not interested unless it involves my loved ones. Or possibly my wife.
[hands Ted a file]
Dr Kelso: Do lawyer stuff to that.
[about Dr. Cox]
Dr Kelso: And I'll be damned if he doesn't disagree with everything I say just because I said it.
JD: Sir, I don't think that's true.
[Kelso turns around to face Dr Cox, who is on the other side of the room]
Dr Kelso: It's hotter than hell in here, Perry!
Dr Cox: Freezing!
Dr Kelso: Great coffee, though!
Dr Cox: Rat piss!
Dr Kelso: Dr. Murphy here is an incompetent suck-up!
Dr Cox: No, Bob, in fact he's one of the finest young doctors I ever had the good fortune of working with.
Dr Kelso: [to J.D] Your witness.
[a woman with her son comes over to Dr. Cox and Jordan and starts talking to their son, Jack]
Woman: Hi, cutie! Since you have so many balls, and too many toys can be overstimulating for an infant, Brantley here was wondering if he could borrow one to play with.
Dr Cox: Oh, that's funny, because Jack here was just wondering why the crazy lady who just spent the last hour chain-smoking and talking on her cell phone while her kid ate sand, would come over to two complete strangers and give them parenting advice.
Jordan: Oh, he also thanked me for not naming him Brantley.
Dr Cox: Yeah.
JD: [voiceover] I knew Dr. Casey now pretty well, everyday, he goes to his first patient's room and touches every single thing in there...
Dr Casey: [touching things] Bink, Bink, Bink, Bink, Bink...
Dr Kelso: Dr. Casey, your patients are complaining about a noise in your wing.
Dr Casey: [pokes Dr. Kelso on the nose] Bink.
Dr Kelso: Dr. CASEY! Your patients!
Dr Casey: If the noise is bink then I can explain...
Dr Kelso: IT'S NOT BINK!
Elliot: Thanks again for helping me look for Carla.
Janitor: No problem. I'll check the dumpster.
Elliot: ...We're not looking for *dead* Carla.
Janitor: Atta girl. You stay optimistic.
Dr Kelso: [drunk at Turk and Carlas wedding reception] Ahh, Dr. Turkleton!
Turk: Actually, sir, it's Turk.
Dr Kelso: That's your first name!
Turk: You think my name is Turk Turkleton?
Dr Kelso: [to Carla] ... and Mrs. Turkleton! The Turkletons! Hehehe...
[to bartender]
Dr Kelso: Gimme a scotch.
Carla: Dr Cox... why is your mouth red?
Dr Cox: Duct tape, two hours in a morgue drawer, don't piss off the janitor. End of story.
JD: [butting in] will there be a piñata? Because I need to know if I should bring my piñata helmet.
Jordan: Up-up-bah! The only reason we invited you is because for *some* reason, you have your own Spongebob Squarepants costume!
JD: It was a gift!
[voice-over]
JD: From me, to me!
Dr Cox: [explaining he doesn't care it's JD's last week of residency] I suppose I could riff a list of things that I care as little about as our last week. Let's see... low carb diets, Michael Moore, the Republican National Convention, Kabbalah & all Kabbalah-related products, Hi-Def TV, the Bush daughters, wireless hotspots, the OC, the UN, recycling, getting Punk'd, Danny Gans, the Latin Grammys, the real Grammys, Jeff- that Wiggle that sleeps too darn much, the Yankees payroll, all the red states, all the blue states, every hybrid car, every talk show, everything on the planet, everything in the solar system, everything, everything, everything, everything, everything, everything every-everything that exists past, present & future, in discovered and undiscovered dimensions!
[turns away, then turns back]
Dr Cox: Oh, and Hugh Jackman.
JD: Hugh Jackman is Wolverine! How dare he!
JD: [Driving circles around The Janitor] Ring around the janitor, pocket full of...
Janitor: Pocket full of what.
JD: ZANitor.
Janitor: That's not a word.
JD: Oh, Mrs. Grodberg, JZILBEK is not a word.
Mrs Grodberg: But I'm still beating you...
JD: Well, I'm just glad your surgery went okay and you still have your A game. I don't really care who wins.
JD: [thinks] Half a brain, dammit!
[discussing an argument between Elliot and Alex, an attractive social worker J.D. is dating]
Turk: So, who'd you side with?
JD: Neither; I just pretended I was paged, and then when they said they didn't hear anything, I called them both liars and ran away.
Turk: Smooth.
Dr Kelso: Perry, what's our plan of attack?
Dr Cox: When I crush a person's spirit, I like to use a combination of intimidation and degradation.
Dr Kelso: I prefer to create an environment in which the subjects end up crushing themselves.
Dr Cox: [intrigued] Uh-huh.
Janitor: [while JD is coming up behind the Janitor] I like to pick one person and torment them relentlessly for no reason. If I could find them, I'd show you.
[JD sneaks away while ominous music plays]
Janitor: He's near...
Dr Cox: I... I'm sorry. Um... crazy person says what?
Jordan: [angry] What?!
Dr Cox: Atta girl.
Dr Cox: Oh, my God! I… I’m gagging and vomiting at the same time! … I’m… I’m gavomiting!
JD: Oh my God, the janitor's afraid of Carla! How can I use this to my advantage?
[Cut to a fantasy where Carla is confronting the janitor]
Carla: Listen, I want you to lay off J.D.! Stop accusing him of things he didn't do. And bring him a fruit smoothie every day!
Janitor: [In Spanish] Would he like strawberry or banana?
Carla: [In Spanish] ... Purple tree car with cheese.
Janitor: [In Spanish] LIAR!
[He removes her mask, revealing J.D]
JD: Feliz Navidad...
[He retreats. Cut back to reality]
JD: I'd have to learn Spanish.
[Carla's assisting Turk in surgery]
Turk: Scalpel.
Carla: Scalpel what?
Turk: Scalpel, please.
Carla: Here you go, baby. Sorry: Dr. Baby.
[She giggles. Dr. Wen interrupts]
Dr Wen: [to Turk] Shall we proceed, Dr. Baby?
Dr Cox: I love this moment so much, I want to have sex with it.
[Later…]
Dr Cox: By the by, this moment is so great that I would cheat on that other moment from before with it, marry it, and raise a family of tiny little moments.
Dr Kelso: I got you a present for your trip to Mexico. It's my old Spanish to English dictionary. I don't need it anymore, I've mastered the language.
Dr Clock: Gracias, Señor.
Dr Kelso: You're welcomo.
Dr Cox: I went ahead and took the liberty of making you five Man Cards. Hold them very dear, because every time you drop the ball, man-wise, I'm going to take one from you.
JD: I don't need your approval, or your stupid Man Cards! Although the lettering is darling. Have you ever done calligraphy?
Dr Cox: [snatching one of the cards] Thank you.
JD: Dammit!
Dr Cox: I'm gonna go ahead and give you back one of these Man Cards. You deserve it.
JD: Wow... Wanna hug?
Dr Cox: [taking the card back] You held on to it as long as you could, didn't you?
[Turk is using an endoscope to find a hernia inside a patient]
Bonnie: We're so lost.
Turk: We're not lost.
Bonnie: Go left, here.
Turk: It's a right.
Bonnie: You passed his Cooper's ligament three times already. Just stop and ask for directions!
Turk: Do you want to drive this thing? 'Cause I will pull - I will pull this thing over and let you drive this thing!
Dr Cox: Honestly, I haven't been this happy since Christmas when I was seven years old and my father showed me how to make a snow angel. Actually, he was passed out drunk in the yard... But I did take his arms and his legs and move them back and forth... And... th-the paramedics said it was one of the finest snow angels that they'd ever seen. So, maybe the fact that I am the kinder, gentler Cox is every last bit of okay. Maybe it's a... a natural progression. It's not like there's any real ramifications... [laughs]
Dr Cox: ... right?
Dr Cox: Oh, my God; I care so little, I almost passed out.
Dr Kelso: Ahh! I want you to kill the giant bat that's been living in my attic!
Turk: You keep Enid in the attic?
Janitor: Okay, hotshot, what would you use to get a coffee stain up off a tile floor?
JD: I don't know... the rough side of a sponge? [silence]
Janitor: Dammit.
Dr Cox: Let me introduce you to, A Man Who Doesn't Care.
JD: [thinking] Maybe I was being unfair to Turk. Maybe it's too much to expect a friend to just sense that you're upset and wanna talk about it...
Elliot: [when JD walks by Elliot and Carla] Carla, I can sense you're upset, talk to me!
JD: [looks confused, then continues walking and thinks] OK, but Turk is a prideful guy and it's hard for prideful guys to admit when they've been insensitive…
Dr Cox: [when JD walks by Dr. Cox and Jordan] Listen, Jordan, I've been incredibly insensitive...
JD: [looking back to the hallway, thinking] Touché, magic hallway!
JD: A drunk clown hurt me once.
JD: Why don't I ever listen to me?
Ted: And you know what else? I quit!
Dr Kelso: No you don't!
Ted: Well, I'm leaving early today!
Dr Kelso: No, you're not! You're coming back to my office to do busy work!
Ted: Fine, but I'm getting a soda first!
Dr Kelso: Whatever.
Turk: Laverne, I wrote the guest list for this conversation, and just in case, if you're wondering, you're not on it!
Carla: Please! What about all the women you've slept with? Your ex-wife, that med student, your ex-wife, the cute nurse from radiology, your ex-wife...
Dr Cox: Would you please get off my ex-wife?
Carla: I will if you will.
[Cox breaks down laughing]
Dr Cox: Well... dammit! Gosh, now I'm too proud of you to be mad at you.
Elliot: [In french] Do you speak french?
Turk: You know, I did learn a little when my high school class went to France, but that was just stuff to pick up chicks.
Elliot: [French] I really think it would make Tyler feel better if he could watch, ok?
[Turk is lost]
Turk: [Bad French] I have... an... Eiffel Tower... in my pants.
Elliot: What?
Turk: [Bad French] Grapefruit!
Dr Cox: They hate you, Bob. They hate from the bottom of your hooves to the top of your pitchfork. They hate you. By God, they hate you good.
Dr Kelso: [threateningly, to Nurse Roberts, who is chuckling] What’s so funny?
Nurse Roberts: Oh, just the hooves and pitchfork part.
[much more threateningly]
Nurse Roberts: Why?
Dr Kelso: [Frightened] Uh, no reason.
[Elliot keeps talking at a patient with a wired jaw]
Nurse: Did somebody here buzz for a nurse?
Elliot: No.
Nurse: [Looking at the patient] It looks like his eyes are screaming...
Dr Cox: Yo, girl's name!
JD: What?
Dr Cox: Gimme a break, Ellen, I got a lot on my mind, and look at that, I bounced back.
Dr Kelso: [on phone in his office] Yes, Enid, I hear Baxter growling, but the fact is, you ventured into his side of the house!
[listens, smiling]
Dr Kelso: Baring his teeth, huh?... OK, now here's whatcha do... Are you ready?
[pauses, smiling]
Dr Kelso: Make a sudden move!
[barks, growls and screams are heard from the phone. Kelso hangs up, chuckling]
Dr Kelso: Ahh, those two.
[JD asks Dr Kelso to tell him a story of when he was an intern]
Dr Kelso: Oh, what the hell. Back in '68… I don't like you. The end.
Cox’s Shrink: You mean to tell me that you actually took the advice of another human being? This is a big moment for me.
Dr Cox: Yuh-huh.
Cox’s Shrink: Well, by God, Perry, if there is a person in that hell-hole of a hospital that can give you advice, keep that person around you for as long as possible. Because, that person is nothing short… of a genius.
[Cut to J.D in an elevator, singing and dancing]
JD: Everybody was Kung-Fu fighting!
[pause]
JD: Those kicks were fast as lightning!
Carla: Well?
Dr Cox: I'm sorry, would you please repeat the question?
Carla: Are you just gonna roll over like that?
Jordan: That's weird, I asked him the same thing last night.
Carla: Where's the outrage? The anger? The hate?
Jordan: Again, last night!
Carla: You've gone soft.
Jordan: [Gasps] Okay, now it's getting spooky.
Elliot: Frick on a stick with a brick!
Dr Cox: Shower shorts, newbie?
JD: For the man who has nothing to hide… but still wants to.
Paul: Sometimes it feels like you're holding back.
Elliot: Of course I'm holding back, I'm insane, you idiot. Remember the other day when you told me I had pit-stains? Well I have cried every fifteen minutes on the half-hour since you told me that. I am racked with self-doubt, I have panic attacks, I'm claustrophobic, germ-phobic, phobia-phobic. I talk to myself, I talk to my cats, I talk to three separate shrinks about the fact that often my cats respond to me in my mother's voice and, yesterday, when that stupid, pretty surgical nurse handed you a pair of latex gloves I almost killed the guy who's leg I was stitching up because I couldn't stop thinking about the two of you having sex on a box of steaks. Why a box of steaks? 'Cos my Dad had an affair with a female butcher and, as I mentioned before, I am insane. There, I opened up, are you happy?
[to toddler Jack, at his parent's wedding-like divorce ceremony] Carla: You have no chance of being normal.
JD: [thinking] Just tell him how you feel without sounding like a girl for once.
[to Turk] JD: I miss you so much it hurts sometimes.
[J.D. faces a burnt-faced Dr. Kelso, who has just had hot coffee splashed on his face]
JD: [Thinking] Oh my God, do not say splotchy.
JD: Good splotchy, Dr Splotchy.
JD:[to himself, as Dr. Cox stands next to him at a urinal] Okay, just act natural. (out loud) Hey, Dr. Cox. Takin' a whiz?
JD: You're an actor.
Janitor: You're a fireman... What are we doing?
Dr Cox: No matter where you go in life, always keep an eye out for Johnny, the tackling Alzheimer's patient.
JD: What's that supposed to mean?!
Patient: [Tackling J.D. from out of nowhere, shouting] Who am I?
[Turk shows his new interns the patient list]
Turk: This guy needs brain work, this guy needs a heart...
JD: This one needs courage.
Turk: Helping or hurting, JD? Helping or hurting?
Janitor: I liked the way blond-hair-doctor looked. She brightened my day. But you don't care about that, do you? No... because you're unconscious.
Ted: [shouting on the phone] You want to quit? Then quit! But you, sir, are a worthless peon and you will *always* be a worthless peon!
[hangs up]
Ted: Sir, you know my band, The Worthless Peons? Well, Chris from Shipping & Receiving wants to go solo! If we lose him, we'll lose our sex appeal. He's the only one with hair! What do you think I should do?
Dr Kelso: Ted, you know my rule about personal problems - I'm not interested unless it involves my loved ones. Or possibly my wife.
[hands Ted a file]
Dr Kelso: Do lawyer stuff to that.
[about Dr. Cox]
Dr Kelso: And I'll be damned if he doesn't disagree with everything I say just because I said it.
JD: Sir, I don't think that's true.
[Kelso turns around to face Dr Cox, who is on the other side of the room]
Dr Kelso: It's hotter than hell in here, Perry!
Dr Cox: Freezing!
Dr Kelso: Great coffee, though!
Dr Cox: Rat piss!
Dr Kelso: Dr. Murphy here is an incompetent suck-up!
Dr Cox: No, Bob, in fact he's one of the finest young doctors I ever had the good fortune of working with.
Dr Kelso: [to J.D] Your witness.
[a woman with her son comes over to Dr. Cox and Jordan and starts talking to their son, Jack]
Woman: Hi, cutie! Since you have so many balls, and too many toys can be overstimulating for an infant, Brantley here was wondering if he could borrow one to play with.
Dr Cox: Oh, that's funny, because Jack here was just wondering why the crazy lady who just spent the last hour chain-smoking and talking on her cell phone while her kid ate sand, would come over to two complete strangers and give them parenting advice.
Jordan: Oh, he also thanked me for not naming him Brantley.
Dr Cox: Yeah.
JD: [voiceover] I knew Dr. Casey now pretty well, everyday, he goes to his first patient's room and touches every single thing in there...
Dr Casey: [touching things] Bink, Bink, Bink, Bink, Bink...
Dr Kelso: Dr. Casey, your patients are complaining about a noise in your wing.
Dr Casey: [pokes Dr. Kelso on the nose] Bink.
Dr Kelso: Dr. CASEY! Your patients!
Dr Casey: If the noise is bink then I can explain...
Dr Kelso: IT'S NOT BINK!
Elliot: Thanks again for helping me look for Carla.
Janitor: No problem. I'll check the dumpster.
Elliot: ...We're not looking for *dead* Carla.
Janitor: Atta girl. You stay optimistic.
Dr Kelso: [drunk at Turk and Carlas wedding reception] Ahh, Dr. Turkleton!
Turk: Actually, sir, it's Turk.
Dr Kelso: That's your first name!
Turk: You think my name is Turk Turkleton?
Dr Kelso: [to Carla] ... and Mrs. Turkleton! The Turkletons! Hehehe...
[to bartender]
Dr Kelso: Gimme a scotch.
Carla: Dr Cox... why is your mouth red?
Dr Cox: Duct tape, two hours in a morgue drawer, don't piss off the janitor. End of story.
JD: [butting in] will there be a piñata? Because I need to know if I should bring my piñata helmet.
Jordan: Up-up-bah! The only reason we invited you is because for *some* reason, you have your own Spongebob Squarepants costume!
JD: It was a gift!
[voice-over]
JD: From me, to me!
Dr Cox: [explaining he doesn't care it's JD's last week of residency] I suppose I could riff a list of things that I care as little about as our last week. Let's see... low carb diets, Michael Moore, the Republican National Convention, Kabbalah & all Kabbalah-related products, Hi-Def TV, the Bush daughters, wireless hotspots, the OC, the UN, recycling, getting Punk'd, Danny Gans, the Latin Grammys, the real Grammys, Jeff- that Wiggle that sleeps too darn much, the Yankees payroll, all the red states, all the blue states, every hybrid car, every talk show, everything on the planet, everything in the solar system, everything, everything, everything, everything, everything, everything every-everything that exists past, present & future, in discovered and undiscovered dimensions!
[turns away, then turns back]
Dr Cox: Oh, and Hugh Jackman.
JD: Hugh Jackman is Wolverine! How dare he!
JD: [Driving circles around The Janitor] Ring around the janitor, pocket full of...
Janitor: Pocket full of what.
JD: ZANitor.
Janitor: That's not a word.
JD: Oh, Mrs. Grodberg, JZILBEK is not a word.
Mrs Grodberg: But I'm still beating you...
JD: Well, I'm just glad your surgery went okay and you still have your A game. I don't really care who wins.
JD: [thinks] Half a brain, dammit!
[discussing an argument between Elliot and Alex, an attractive social worker J.D. is dating]
Turk: So, who'd you side with?
JD: Neither; I just pretended I was paged, and then when they said they didn't hear anything, I called them both liars and ran away.
Turk: Smooth.
Dr Kelso: Perry, what's our plan of attack?
Dr Cox: When I crush a person's spirit, I like to use a combination of intimidation and degradation.
Dr Kelso: I prefer to create an environment in which the subjects end up crushing themselves.
Dr Cox: [intrigued] Uh-huh.
Janitor: [while JD is coming up behind the Janitor] I like to pick one person and torment them relentlessly for no reason. If I could find them, I'd show you.
[JD sneaks away while ominous music plays]
Janitor: He's near...
Dr Cox: I... I'm sorry. Um... crazy person says what?
Jordan: [angry] What?!
Dr Cox: Atta girl.
Dr Cox: Oh, my God! I… I’m gagging and vomiting at the same time! … I’m… I’m gavomiting!
JD: Oh my God, the janitor's afraid of Carla! How can I use this to my advantage?
[Cut to a fantasy where Carla is confronting the janitor]
Carla: Listen, I want you to lay off J.D.! Stop accusing him of things he didn't do. And bring him a fruit smoothie every day!
Janitor: [In Spanish] Would he like strawberry or banana?
Carla: [In Spanish] ... Purple tree car with cheese.
Janitor: [In Spanish] LIAR!
[He removes her mask, revealing J.D]
JD: Feliz Navidad...
[He retreats. Cut back to reality]
JD: I'd have to learn Spanish.
[Carla's assisting Turk in surgery]
Turk: Scalpel.
Carla: Scalpel what?
Turk: Scalpel, please.
Carla: Here you go, baby. Sorry: Dr. Baby.
[She giggles. Dr. Wen interrupts]
Dr Wen: [to Turk] Shall we proceed, Dr. Baby?
Dr Cox: I love this moment so much, I want to have sex with it.
[Later…]
Dr Cox: By the by, this moment is so great that I would cheat on that other moment from before with it, marry it, and raise a family of tiny little moments.
Dr Kelso: I got you a present for your trip to Mexico. It's my old Spanish to English dictionary. I don't need it anymore, I've mastered the language.
Dr Clock: Gracias, Señor.
Dr Kelso: You're welcomo.
Dr Cox: I went ahead and took the liberty of making you five Man Cards. Hold them very dear, because every time you drop the ball, man-wise, I'm going to take one from you.
JD: I don't need your approval, or your stupid Man Cards! Although the lettering is darling. Have you ever done calligraphy?
Dr Cox: [snatching one of the cards] Thank you.
JD: Dammit!
Dr Cox: I'm gonna go ahead and give you back one of these Man Cards. You deserve it.
JD: Wow... Wanna hug?
Dr Cox: [taking the card back] You held on to it as long as you could, didn't you?
[Turk is using an endoscope to find a hernia inside a patient]
Bonnie: We're so lost.
Turk: We're not lost.
Bonnie: Go left, here.
Turk: It's a right.
Bonnie: You passed his Cooper's ligament three times already. Just stop and ask for directions!
Turk: Do you want to drive this thing? 'Cause I will pull - I will pull this thing over and let you drive this thing!
Dr Cox: Honestly, I haven't been this happy since Christmas when I was seven years old and my father showed me how to make a snow angel. Actually, he was passed out drunk in the yard... But I did take his arms and his legs and move them back and forth... And... th-the paramedics said it was one of the finest snow angels that they'd ever seen. So, maybe the fact that I am the kinder, gentler Cox is every last bit of okay. Maybe it's a... a natural progression. It's not like there's any real ramifications... [laughs]
Dr Cox: ... right?
My Beauful Dog, ;]
"This is an intervention.... and birthday party! Happy birthday!... You have a problem."
Depression is like…
When the happiness inside you,
Becomes a flickering light.
Sometimes you’re happy,
But mostly upset,
And if things don’t get better,
That flame becomes dead.
Everything feels,
As if nothing is worth it,
And nothing feels,
That it still lies unbroken.
Inside you’re just dead,
Outside you’re plain scared,
Wondering if your life
Could ever be spared.
You’re capable of anything:
Suicide seems the easy way,
To make those things,
Just forever go away.
You hold the gun,
In your shaking hand,
Wondering what went wrong.
Then something bursts inside you-
The light, it’s back.
You drop the gun like a sack.
What were you doing?You could have been killed.
The gun shoots a round,
You run for the hills.
Depression is gone,
Here is another day.
A fresh beginning,
A happy ending.
There’s always a way.
When the happiness inside you,
Becomes a flickering light.
Sometimes you’re happy,
But mostly upset,
And if things don’t get better,
That flame becomes dead.
Everything feels,
As if nothing is worth it,
And nothing feels,
That it still lies unbroken.
Inside you’re just dead,
Outside you’re plain scared,
Wondering if your life
Could ever be spared.
You’re capable of anything:
Suicide seems the easy way,
To make those things,
Just forever go away.
You hold the gun,
In your shaking hand,
Wondering what went wrong.
Then something bursts inside you-
The light, it’s back.
You drop the gun like a sack.
What were you doing?You could have been killed.
The gun shoots a round,
You run for the hills.
Depression is gone,
Here is another day.
A fresh beginning,
A happy ending.
There’s always a way.
What Should I Write About Most?
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About Me
- Sam
- Reindeerville, Kingsland. :D, Australia
- I'm Sam, 15, Grade 10. I picked up the funny little habit of writing stories at about the age of 5; it's developed since, I hope. I love to create my own little world and allow people see into it, it's like showing them a part of my soul, really, although that sounds extremely lame. I think writing is my way of showing people who I really am, and how I'm feeling. I love my blogger family and will be forever grateful having gotten to know them. They're fantastic people. I often voice random things to *try* and make people laugh :] I love to make people smile, it makes me think I do some good. And I have a tendency to ramble.
6 comments:
:O
i coulda sworn that i'd commented your last post!!
well i dont care what you say im commenting this post, coz im awesome like that XD
lol i can imagine someone screaming BLAHBLAHBLAHDONUTS!!
ahahaha i woulda been like ...uhhm screw you im going to sleep.
aaw! to bad about your american friend, hope she cheers up and has better days. tell her that from me, even though she doesnt know me.
a broken toe??ouch. do birds even need toes??
a croisant?? WHATD I TELL YOU?!?!?!?!? YOUR ADDICTED!! you know what comes next?? POISON!! my own specially made home brand poison coz i run all the bakerys everywhere and yea i told them once people are addicted poison them, cut off their feet and sew them to their heads then eat their hair!!
MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA
or am i kidding??
no im not
or am i
DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNNNN
ahah well bye
=]
have an awesome supremeely spectacular weekend!!
[=
Hey sorry bout not posting its just i wss at *coughing fit* Lucys house since Friday night and couldnt check it because of the obvoius. You woke up at 3 pm? You Lucky duck! Lucys little brother woke us and her little sister whoz 11 up at 9:30. we were not impressed! blahblahblahdonuts!? Well lucys little bro was talking about trains?? May slutty? havent heard much bout it. forgot the rest of the post soz confuzzled to tha max!
theory gurl xXx
heya so sorry
i cant comment
cause i dont gots time
but i gots lots to say
so ill be here on monday
just wanted you to know i was here
yes my presence is that importamt
hahahaha jk, how self absprbed
eeek!
bye
pf
Your blog is so cool! I will try to read it everyday. :)
—L.S.
http://lunasoleilslife.blogspot.com/
Second comment: When you commened on page was t like 11:30 email about it...
Heh, ok, now I have time.... Yayy!
Wow, 3pm? Today was the latest I've gotten up in forever and it was 10:20 am. Lucky...
Pshhh, you are not the boss of me. You can't tell me which post to answer on! (Throws tantrum). Hahahahahaha, jk. I just feel like commenting here.
Ugh, I hate being woken up like that. My sister is now scared of waking me up, hehehehhe. Yeah I can become quote the monster. But donuts. Cmon, that's worth getting up for!
Yuuummm, croissant... Err, you don't get to eat them everyday? I eat them everyday! Nothing wrong with that, right? In fact, I've decided that's gonna be my breakfast/lunch for today.
Hahahahaha, babysitting the bird? Does the bird have a name? Polly, prehaps? That would be incredibly unoriginal. Hahahahaha. Aww, he broke his toe? So, what are you gonna do about it?
Yeah, Clifford is very cute. Actually, I didn't watch Barney that much... Never really liked him. When I was little all I watched was Disney movies and a cartoon about talking rats that rode motorcycles. Sorta like Uncle Bob! Hahahahahahahaha!!!
Yeah, you can live with lonely. But instead, you gotta make it sound cooler. Like "ahem, yeah, I'm a lonewolf" orr "I'm not alone, I'm flying solo". So, how come you don't talk to any other people inn the class?
Hahahaha, the bus driver still cracks me up! Wow, I didn't think it was possible for me to dislike May more except for now. Why does she hate Josh, anyways?
Hahahaha, yeah, poor Sweety didn't even see it coming. Sorta like Polly. Poor ole' broken-toe Polly.
Wellll, last thing I gots to say to you is....
I GOT YOU A COOKIE!! Here you go, enjoy! Ohhh and the milk you should provide yourslelf. Hehehehehe. Cause what's a coookie without milk? Nothing, that's what.
Crud. I think I'm rambling.
Hehehehe, bye, dude. And update!
PF Nelly
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