Before I die, I will have seen it all.

The mountains I have climbed help me enjoy the fall.

Don't read this. >:l That's a warning.
I'm in a severely rambly and complainy mood.

Todaytodaytoday.
Today was so bad in so many small ways that it's actually funny. It's like every little thing that could go wrong, did. Only little things, though.
I woke up at 6:30. Walked into my door. Tried to find my clothes; my uniform was still in the washing machine and hadn't been dried, and I'd lost my shoes. Go figure. Put my uniform in the drier, had a shower-- the hot water wasn't working. Clothes were dry, discovered that the iron is broken. Found shoes. Couldn't find comb for like 20 minutes. Didn't have time to straighten my hair after all this finding-losing so I had to tie it back *gahhh*.
Got a lift to school and I tripped over my own foot. Twice. In Form I got a splinter in my finger. Spent all through Ancient History trying to get it out, ended up making my finger bleed like hell. Lost assignment. Found assignment.
On the way to English, a guy walked into me, I almost fell flat on my face because there were construction ropes that I decided to duck under, and I discovered that Irene is pissed off at me.
English was uneventful except for I kept getting a glazed look, apparently, cause I'd be daydreaming and the teacher would call my name a bazillion times and Rya'd have to nudge me to get my attention. My English book fell apart on its own accord. Literally, every page just fell out.
Had Chem. That speaks for itself. Kept daydreaming and losing track of where we were.
After Chem I hung back with Dani & Chante for the Chem tutorial (this is when I'm supposed to be at lunch). So spent my break doing more Chem. Fantastic.
Next was Physics and I had an exam. My pen broke, my calculator wouldn't turn on and Jess was borrowing my ruler for her Chem class. I managed to ramble for two out of the three blank pages, but I don't think I said anything substantial. Prepared to get a fail for that.
Bus was somewhat late. Talked to Ellie; got a bit annoyed at her because she constantly tells little lies and I'm good at knowing when she's lying (I've known her for 8 years, so it's pretty easy).
Just got home and my sister was mouthing off at me. Saw myself in the mirror and burst into tears.
Am now attempting to look at the bright side so I'm not tempted to do something stupid.

Okay.
Screw the bright side for a second.
I'm not upset because my day sucked (I mean, that didn't help, but yeah). I'm upset because I feel like I'm drifting from everyone. Everyone. That means Ellie, that means Stalker Guy, that means you guys. Every single person on this fucking planet. I just know that everybody must hate me, no matter what nice things they say. It doesn't make sense that they wouldn't. So many people have turned on me in the past few weeks that I have no trust in almost anyone.
I also feel the need to acknowledge a couple of you have talked about your appearance in latest posts. And I really do empathise with you at the moment-- ALTHOUGH: You guys are fucking gorgeous and I will never relent on that.
I just feel like some sort of freak every time I see myself. I hate it. There's nothing any of you can or should say about that, because any compliments are not true and I know it, so please don't bother with them. Not that you should be reading this anyway. Don't let me waste your time.
There is just nothing about myself I can say I don't hate right now.
I hate that I'm writing these things where people can read them. Even though it's you guys. It feels like this huge void inside me that I'm putting here and making you all suffer, rather than just me.
I just hate everything. I miss people. I miss everyone. There is no one right now that I feel actually likes me because I cannot believe that there is a person on Earth who shouldn't hate me. There is no reason not to hate me.
I don't know who to talk to.

On that note, I'm going to shut up.