I fell so hard that I'm killing myself

Yes, I need out - out of this grave that I've dug.
And all the friends that I have gone through,
And how much I deserve the pain, it's a shame...

My gosh!
I don't even know why I bother writing up warnings if you guys are just gonna read anyway.
I love you guys.
Thankyou for the comments. I really do love you incredibly much.
And you should know I've never told anyone else I love them, just you people. Cause you're just that special.
>.> That may or may not have sounded creepy and stalkerish.

I think I must have some sort of personality disorder. I really do.
Right now I'm incredibly happy and bouncy and singing to music and whatever; I don't even know why. I got like 4 hours sleep and worked this morning. But I just feel so happy.
O_o
Lol.

I know I've posted lyrics from that song up there ^^^^^ a heap of times, but that's cause I just love it heaps.
And
And
I forget what I was posting for.

Oh yeah.
I still don't know why I'm happy.
I was so upset last night.
Like, really upset.
Suicidal upset.
Not just like "oh yeah, I'm gonna kill myself and cut myself stupid and drug myself til I pass out" and then never go through with it; I mean obviously I didn't go through with it but I was so close to it that it scares me a little bit.
I wrote up a post (which I obviously didn't publish) and it had super-long paragraphs to each of you telling you how much I loved you and that I was sorry and yadda yadda yadda.
So... yeah. I don't really feel like elaborating.
I just broke down halfway through writing it and put some music on and fell asleep by accident, and I woke up and have been in a good mood all day. Seriously, what the hell?

Anyways.
I just wanted to write to you guys... and not have it end in goodbye.
I love you peoples.